Sunday, August 7, 2011

Is this a strong thesis statement for Gay Marriages?

It's strong. I would change "needs to be" to "should be". Also, I would say "50 states" instead of "50 United States". I would remove "same couple's" from the first sentence, so it says "it is a constitutional right". Remove the comma after "right", and replace it with a period. Add a comma after "lasting". Remove "nor family values"; it makes an already long sentence even longer without adding much to it.

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